Day 4 - The Cabbage Soup Diet

Rigamoon

This diet is boring.  Boring, boring, boring.  The same boring soup every day.  The same boring additions to accompany the boring soup.  Am I boring you yet? 

Today we were allowed up to eight bananas and as much skimmed milk as we liked.  As much skimmed milk as I like?  That’s none, ever.   So as you can imagine,  I wasn’t particularly enthralled by today’s menu.  The obvious solution was to liquidise said ingredients and create milkshakes (minus the ice cream, semi-skimmed milk, sugar and vanilla that I would ordinarily add), the end result was like eating cardboard mashed with cotton wool, the most bizarre sensation.  I scoffed at the preposterous idea that one might eat eight bananas in a day but ending up scoffing a hearty six and a half.  Amazing what hunger can drive you to do.

The Rockstar came over today.  Bruno decided that to make up for the lack of actual cooking this diet allows, he would get his kicks from cooking The Rockstar lunch.  ‘What food don’t you like?’, Bruno enquired, ‘cucumbers’ The Rockstar replied, ‘splendid, I’m going to make you a killer lunch.’  By killer, Bruno meant ‘I’m going to block up your arteries and satisfy your stomach with the most delicious, calorific lunch I can possibly imagine served with lashings of butter.  A ham, cheese and harissa sandwich, but not with bread, oh no, with turkey for bread .. TURKEY; pan fried then baked and served on a bed of mashed potato full of milk (semi, not skimmed), butter, cheese, garlic and onion.  At this point I pretty much hate Bruno.  I want that for lunch.  I want that to touch my tastebuds, fill my stomach and leave me feeling full and happy.

Again, at this point in the regime I am beginning to remember how happy food makes me.  Food is supposed to be enjoyed not endured.  And tomorrow we get to eat between 10 and 20oz of beef.  Weird.